1-27-99. The Pilots Seat is commentary, written from a fan's perspective, about the Pensacola Ice Pilots
by Scott Gregory
I had a good night's sleep, ran four miles, and sat down with a hot cup of hazelnut
coffee this morning before getting down to business. All was right with the world.
Then, I pulled the Sports section out of the News Journal.
Ridjrudkf. Sorry about that; it's three hours later and my hands are still shaking.
In case you haven't seen it, drop everything you're doing and run out and buy a News
Journal immediately. If you're reading this after Wednesday, raid the bottom of your
neighbors' bird cages.
It's a photo of Pilots coach Al Pedersen and his voodoo doll.
Now there's something you don't see every day.
This photo defines creepy, folks. I'll tell you what -- photographer Michael
Spooneybarger deserves an award for this. Dark room. Pedersen with an unsettled look
on his face, getting ready to stab the thing in the gut.
Pilots fan Susan Ward sent Pedersen the doll. For the record, Pedersen says he doesn't put much faith in superstitions, but kept the doll anyway.
Neither do I. But I think Pedersen is overlooking a great coaching tactic. He has been
struggling to motivate his players all season, and he isn't much of a screamer.
Use what you've got. He sticks this photo in Nick Stajduhar's locker two months ago,
and I guarantee you Nick would have stopped lounging on the ice.
The fans have been having an identity crisis lately. Not much to cheer for. Yelled at for booing. The chants are getting old, and many weren't all that creative to begin with.
Let's use voodoo, and freak the opposition out of the building.
There's a tradition in Detroit of throwing an octopus onto the ice during every playoff game. Wouldn't Xavier Majic be surprised to see a severed chicken head glide by on the ice the next time he's at "The Hangar"?
I don't know much about this subject, so help me with ideas. Anyone know a bulk mojo and dried frog gris-gris supplier? How about conjuring up the spirit of Marie Laveau during the intermissions instead of throwing T-shirts that are five sizes too small for any normal-sized human being. Hey, look, Karol Bartanus can't stop skating in circles.
Down a goal in the third period? Beach, break out the python.
We already have three coaches behind the bench -- why not a fourth? Meet assistant coach Priestess Miriam Chamani.
There's eight minutes to play, time to "Trance for Your Dinner!"
Ah, I can see the letters to the editor in the News Journal now:
"My 12-year-old daughter Suzy went to her first game recently and wasn't doing
anything other than jumping up and down on her seat the whole game, and all those
drunken season ticket holders told her to sit down and were mean to her, and Civic
Center security wouldn't do anything about it. So I gave it another chance and let her go
to another game, and she got sprayed with cemetery dirt!" -- Martha Snodgrass, Gulf
Breeze.
"Feel the love" is the new motto? How about, "Feel the pins."
© Scott Gregory. All Rights Reserved. Gregory is a Pilots season
ticket holder from Navarre. He is a former Florida Gators football beat writer and sports editor for Copley Newspapers. He can be reached at scott@thefivehole.com. Comments are always welcome.
